An imposter is toxic to your recovery because they do not minister from a healed and tender heart. Many years ago, I led a home church as part of our church’s ministry. I was successful at this and when our pastor needed to be out of town one Sunday, he asked me to preach the sermon. I was as excited as I could be.
I prepared a message that talked about how God adopts us into His family. But the message that I prepared was not coming from a heart that was healed. I had recently learned that my dad regretted having ever adopted me and I had not yet recovered from the pain of this.
I would have been okay if I had simply told the truth and said that my own adoption had failed, but that God's adoption of us into His family never fails. That would have been a refreshing and honest message that could have brought great healing to others. But I tiptoed around my own experience. As I stepped up to the podium, I looked down and realized that I was wearing two totally different shoes. One was white and the other brown. Not only was I an imposter, I was a poorly dressed one to boot!
While people praised my delivery, God didn't stand up and cheer. As the days passed, depression set in; then weeks passed and the depression got worse and worse. I told my pastor that I just didn't have the courage to get up in the morning or even to dress or come to church. He then called me a coward and we parted ways.
A couple of years later, he went through a severe depression himself and came and apologized to me. He told me that he had learned so much from what he had suffered. Both of our hearts were healed. Two men, who both loved God, had learned that heartbreak and pain can’t be ignored. Each of us had been an imposter and each of us had to learn the hard way.
Remember: Whoever you choose to pray with, counsel with, and worship with is receiving a great and precious gift. Make sure they are worthy of that gift. If they are not, run like the wind!
Next Time: How to Choose the Right Pastor
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