A few years later, I met a man who was a pastor. I would have never guessed his occupation unless I had asked. He was a kind and humble man who was without the pretense of religion.
I met him when I was working at his home. One thing led to another and I began to share my story of abuse and shame. Somehow this man had learned to listen intently and openly. He gave me the space and time necessary to lay out the details of my agony. He had the ability to listen until I was finished and then he allowed me the space I needed to clarify my thoughts and express my grief without interruption. When I was finished, he simply said something similar to “Wow.” After that, he remained silent for a long time while I waited to hear his advice. He offered none.
Then I told him that I was about to undergo cancer surgery in a couple of days. He asked if I would mind if he came to pray with me on the morning of my surgery. I told him that I would appreciate it. That morning, he, my wife, and I prayed together. He stayed until I was out of surgery and then he slipped away.
The greatest gift any person of God can give you is to listen. If your pastor, elder, or leader can’t give you this gift, find one who can and will. Keep going until you find the one who opens his or her heart to you as this man did to me.
Healing requires a relationship with others who are strong, full of faith, able to listen, and are emotionally intelligent. Find those leaders who are worthy of your trust, your honesty, and your openness. Open your heart to them as they prove to be worthy of your trust in them.
Again I caution you: Whoever you choose to pray with, counsel with, and worship with is receiving a great and precious gift. Make sure they are worthy of that gift. If they are not, then run like the wind and find those people who are.
Next Time: Let God Lead You!
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