Step 1: Find a Team of People Who Are Willing to Help You Heal

Step 1.  Find a Team of People Who Are Willing to Help You Heal

Begin with a friend or other adult you know cares about you. This friend must be trustworthy because you are going to share some very real and painful memories. Confidentiality is a must so choose somebody who is able to keep a secret, somebody who has demonstrated their trustworthiness to you in the past. I suggest that you look for someone who is at least 10 years older than you are and is kind, gentle, and deeply interested in your healing.

Stay away from the friend who is always telling you what you should do. Stay away from people who are critical of how you've handled your quest for healing. Critical people are a dime a dozen and should not be chosen as part of your team. A strong family member might be a good choice if they were not part of your abusive situation. If this person has given you sound advice in the past in a loving, gentle way, they may be a good candidate.

The person you are looking for is someone who would be excited to be part of your healing team. If they hesitate or say they don't know if they have the time, then maybe they're not the right candidate. If they immediately give you advice, then they are probably not the right candidate, either. 

I was lucky because I always had three to four people who were able to fill this spot for me. These were people who I could call at any time and say, “You know, I'm having a problem I'd like to share with you,” and they always gave me the time. These were also the people I could call when everything was going well. Even then, they always gave me the time and were excited about my progress. These were the people with whom I always knew that I could be open and honest.

Look for people who love you unconditionally and are ready to do whatever it takes to see you become strong, healthy, emotionally healed, and productive in all that you say and do.

Next Time: Step 2: What about Their Faith?