Cast Away - Wilson I'm sorry

This is the video for the reference in yesterday's post about the movie Castaway.  It's well worth the 4 1/2 minutes.  Really feel this man's loneliness and ask yourself if you know anyone feeling this way, and how Jesus wants us to respond.  Have you ever felt loneliness like this?

We who hold the souls of others in our hands, who counsel, teach and preach must remember that these souls have been entrusted to us and that we will need to account for them someday. 

I met a man after God's heart. The first man who understood; the first pastor who ever really listened. It took several years to heal but I am now healed thanks to my wife, a great therapist, and God. 

May God lead us in our walk with Him and our service to the broken hearted. May He fill us with wisdom, remove all our critical influences and memories so that our ministry is safe, secure and loving. May He forgive us for when we have not listened and give us the chance to attend many "Wow" moments in the years to come.

Spiritual Abuse – Part 3

In the 2000 movie “Cast Away,” Tom Hanks plays Chuck Noland, a real-life systems engineer for FedEx. In a terrible storm, Noland’s plane is blown far off course where it crashes at sea and he alone survives. Castaway on a deserted island, he faces the rigors of survival and the ever-dwindling hope of rescue.

  

But with high tide comes a glimpse of hope. FedEx packages from the crash wash onto the shore. Inside, Noland finds a volleyball and a pair of ice skates. Both become essential to his survival and are used in ways so different from their original design.

The ice skates become the Swiss Army knife of Noland’s four-year ordeal, giving him the ability to crack coconuts, cut vegetation, and build shelter. When he accidentally cuts his hand, a bloody handprint is deposited on the volleyball. Later, consumed by his desperate loneliness and dwindling hope of rescue, Noland notices his own handprint on the volleyball. Slowly the volleyball becomes his imaginary friend whom he names “Wilson.” From that point on, “Wilson” becomes Noland’s friend and confidant.

Noland creates a crude raft but is blown back by the wind and the breakers. Four years later, after learning the weather patterns, tides, and better raft-building skills, he sets sail for another desperate chance at rescue. With “Wilson” at his side keeping him company through the first few days of relative quiet, all is well. Then a violent storm arises and separates the two. Noland, in a heartbreaking scene, desperately tries to save “Wilson” from being swept away at sea. The need for human contact, for affirmation, for comfort, and for love drive him far beyond the breaking point, and it personifies what those who have been afflicted by abuse feel deep within the crevasses of their soul. When you watch Noland’s struggle, you see and feel the depth of loneliness which occurs when a human being is cut off, isolated, and hopeless.

Finally, Noland’s story reminds me of the ordeal that survivors of abuse endure. The abused child experiences life as a castaway too. They too are lonely and desperate and although they have not had their lives mangled by shipwreck, their birthright of love, safety, tenderness, and compassion has been scuttled by those whose homes, hearts, and lives should have provided safe harbor from the storms of life. Their innocence, which should have been protected even to the point of death, has washed up on the shores of a deserted island, shattered by indifference, drugs, sex, violence, anger, and selfishness. 

Now it's time for us to act, to put our arms around the brokenhearted and listen to their stories and the burdens they share. Like Noland, they may bear the memories of loneliness, despair, and hopelessness. They may rarely speak openly of their own “Wilson” moments—those times when their hearts broke like a porcelain doll, when they cried themselves to sleep, or when they began cutting themselves in a vain attempt to sedate their own heart and mind.

They may feel shame when they remember their struggle and their pain so listen carefully and refrain from quick judgments. Remember that for years I was told that I needed to pray more, read the Bible more, and give more in order to heal, but the reality was that I needed to be loved and listened to with an open, loving and understanding heart. 

Spiritual Abuse – Part 2

Like all of us, spiritual leaders can be wrong. I am sure that these leaders never meant to harm me or to make my walk with the Lord more perilous. I am sure that they never meant to short-circuit my faith, make me feel like an outcast, or despair of life itself. But that is what occurred, and I do believe that it was spiritual abuse. I really hate to say it, but it's true, it's common, and it must come to a halt.

Quick, judgmental, and easy answers cause a great deal of heartache among our believers. This is even more harmful to believers who suffer from emotional issues caused by abuse, rape, and sexual assault. These believers deserve far better leadership and far more encouragement, hope, support, and plain old human love and understanding. There are times when I have seen more love expressed by social service groups that do not have a Christian agenda than I have seen from those who claim to bear the cross of Christ.

Job suffered when his friends gave him poor and inaccurate counsel. Current-day believers also suffer when leaders fail to understand the issues of a deeply broken heart. And if the church is to be a place where healing occurs and lives are changed for the better, it must also be a place where the brokenhearted can come and feel safe and secure while they heal.

The reality is that God is sovereign and we are not. So we must avoid the pitfalls of critical hearts. Encourage those who are hurting by setting in front of them the hope and promise of becoming growing and thriving. Then remind them that they will be an inspiration to others someday.  

My gift is to encourage believers, and I guarantee you that a little bit of encouragement can lift the head of the grieving believer. There are times when your encouragement is all that is needed to set someone free. There are other times when you will encourage and it will seem like your encouragement has little effect. But the Lord will use your words of hope to touch the hearts of those who are open and ready to hear. Patience and faith are far more effective than people think. Stay focused and keep going. It will pay off!

One time I sat down with a pastor when I was in extreme distress. He asked me what was wrong and I told him my story of degradation and humiliation. I waited for him to interrupt me, but instead he did something that no other pastor had ever done before: he asked me to continue. Two hours later, after I had explained the depth of my experience, I again waited for him to speak. He drew in a deep breath and paused for a moment. Then he gave me the most encouraging Christian counsel I have ever heard. He exhaled and said, “Wow!” 

Sometimes we may just need someone to understand what we are going through and to just say, “Wow.” In his simple answer, I found a counselor that I could trust and a friend who understood. And most important of all, I also found a man who was comfortable with admitting that he didn't know all the answers. I respect him for that, big time. 

Let me know what you think.